What do you do when you need more prayers than even your family, extended family, and ward can provide?
Well, you call every temple in Utah that isn't closed for cleaning or renovations and add the names to the prayer roll!
Done!
Matt will be getting a $600 a month raise starting September, but I am pretty sure we won't see it until the October check.
It'll be okay and I am truly grateful that the property tax increase in South Jordan was passed with no opposing votes.
Now, on to my issue.
This one is a doozy right now.
So, back when I left the U in 2004 I didn't do an official withdrawal. I was too sick to do anything.
Well, I figured I could just call up the clinicians and get copies of the medical records or billing information.
Here begins my problem.
All the data has been completely purged!!!!
I spent time on the phone with Mt Ogden Eye Center and Blue Cross/Blue Shield Federal in both Utah and Arizona. Arizona was able to find exactly one claim...and it wasn't helpful.
I am floored!
I have a call in to LDS Hospital to see if they have surgical records from my fusion.
No one currently has a record of my cornea resurfacing anymore.
I could try calling Ogden Clinic to see if they have records and the Pain Clinic at Ogden Regional.
I am seriously beside myself.
I can go through journals and find onset dates. I could probably even find specific dates for surgeries and procedures, but I am not the official record keeper. They are unlikely to accept it just at my word and the records have literally been destroyed!!
Tomorrow I plan to call the disability office to see if they can provide any help for me.
It doesn't help that I have literally been sick for at least the past 20 years!!
Trust me, no one wants to be sick to get attention unless they are seriously mentally ill.
I've even tried to anti-depressant my way out of being sick.
For the record, happy pills will not take away chronic pain or make a sick body well again.
The worst part of being sick for so long is that I can't get that time back. It's too late.
My breathing has been the most recent illness which has needed corrected. I knew I couldn't breathe all the time, but no one was ever worried because my O2 sats were generally high 90's.
Little did they realize my lungs have been running low 80's.
I am sure that accounted for some of my fatigue.
I have to admit that all all the new meds has made me a lot perkier and energetic.
The issue is that I realized I have like six classes to take before applying to Pharmacy School to get a PharmD. Literally! That's it!
So, I decided if I got in and got out quickly it was wiser than spending forever on a BS in Micro and a PhD in Molecular Biology, Getting a PharmD is practical and my knowledge of prescription and homeopathic meds is extensive.
I actually treated a schizophrenic with natural meds to reduce his delusions almost straight into out of high school...the crazy thing is that it worked so well he turned to crack cocaine because he missed his delusions.
Schizophrenia is a double edge sword, honestly.
The delusions make the sufferer feel important so treatment without extensive support cause a huge void in the sufferers life.
Anyway, I don't think it is possible for me to pray more than I have about this, but I sure am going to have to find a way because *I* *NEED* *THIS*!
It isn't even a want at this point in time.
We need Matt to retire in three years because he is having a hard time physically and he gets mental fatigue.
The only issue is our pay will be cut in *HALF* once we take retirement.
If he took early retirement it would be even less.
This isn't something that SSI can help at all because it still wouldn't add enough to pay rent and all of our other expenses...and we hardly live lavishly.
The most logical solution is for me to go back and finish school so I can be ready to re-enter the workforce upon Matt's retirement.
BYU or UVU would be too far a drive for school on a daily basis...and I will have registration holds until this issue is resolved at the U.
I applied to SLCC today to enter their Pharm Tech program today, but the quality of life that a tech can provide compared to a PharmD is huge.
SLCC's program is 30 credit hours...so, it would take about a year and a half unless I can find a way to double stack my courses...which may not be wise with my kids.
I feel like whatever is supposed to happen will be and I will do my best to accept that peacefully, but I need to do absolutely everything I can first.
I might have some papers on my leave of absence and the second fall. I might even be able to get hold of FMLA papers for my eye condition. Maybe I could contact OPM to see what they have?
Needless to say, I took the afternoon dose of my anxiety med today.
I am trying to think things through logically and form a plan.
BTW, Sarah told me that I have been doing a great job working on my issues today.
She said she could also tell that I am feeling better because my speech was far more energetic...and she's right!
I've noticed it too.
I'm quicker to laugh or crack a joke! My vocabulary has changed tremendously since my breathing is better.
It is really quite amazing really.
Who would've thought it?
Certainly not this woman.
Apparently, it looks like I can write again too. So nice to have a visit by the muses...
Thank you for letting me vent.
Right now I feel like pulling my hair out because I already banged my head on so many brick walls already today.
I know my patriarchal blessing says that I will be able to provide for my family if need be.
It also says my education is important.
My education is supposed to not just benefit my family, but the whole community.
Pretty sure a PharmD would meet that requirement.
I just don't know how to overcome this hurdle yet.
That's it for now. Laters.
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