I guess I shouldn't stress out so much

I got my offer and accepted it this morning.

It is a job...that will hopefully lead to a better job in time.

I'm working on building the life I want; one brick at a time.

I know it won't happen overnight, but it will happen as long as I never give up.

Matt is putting in for a STEM educator position with Jordan school district. Hopefully this will help him to start pushing forward again.

The job would be stuff he loves and I think he would enjoy it.

It would also help with his dizziness and mental fatigue because he wouldn't be up running around all the time.

Maybe something like this would keep him from needing to retire soon.

I could've totally seen him a curriculum position at the board down in Snowflake if we had stayed.

Getting him to move here was like pulling teeth.

Now he realizes what a good thing it has been for our family.

I only wish we could've done this sooner...for the sake of our kids!

Well, at least we made it before the time grew too late.

We got here in time to meet Jay's need for a family.

Hopefully this job will provide me with the opportunity I need to attain my own autonomy.

I know it probably doesn't make sense to other people, but it makes a world of sense to me.

Yes, it is my very own trauma background. I need this to feel safe in my own skin.

I don't feel safe letting others take care of me...probably because they always fall short of how I would do it myself.

Speaking of trauma, Tori is doing better again.

She still screams a lot, but she is being kinder at least.

I think she finally figured out I really meant what I said each time I told her I loved her unconditionally.

Poor girl struggles. It's hard.

My only regret is not doing this sooner, honestly.

I would've liked to have seen her start really blooming a long time ago.

I woke this morning feeling good for the first time in forever.

I really think it is feeling like  my life has more purpose now.

Being a special needs mom is hard. Make that incredibly hard!

The reality is that there is only so much I can do to help the kids with their progress.

Since I feel completely useless at this point, work is the best place for me.

It will help me get my life reorganized again -- because I will no longer be floundering in a holding pattern.

I  probably would've gone back to work sooner if I could've found a way to work it out.

Guess that's it for me right now.

Laters!