I think it is a good thing I have only given Josie the address for my blog. I could let my Xanga ladies know where it is, but right now I guess I just don't really feel like sharing with anyone. Is that selfish? So, yes, should you stumble upon my private thoughts, this is about me and how I feel. In a lot of respects my life is quite blasé, but it suits me most of the time. Today was just a bad day.
While I acknowledge that in every life a little rain must fall, normally I roll with things so well that I hardly ever miss a beat. Today was not one of those days.
Today I woke up sad. The world keeps spinning regardless of where we are at and how we feel. This is reality. I know and acknowledge this. Today I was wishing that my own place in this reality were a little different than it currently is. Thinking, mind you, can be a very dangerous thing at times.
We all makes choices for one reason or another and once they are made, events are generally set into motion which we cannot understand or often foresee. Call me silly, but I was sad because I miss my old film SLR. I still have some old film, but there is no one to process it. I actually have some old film which needs processed. My cousin, Brian, had some ideas on that which I will not get into right now.
Anyway, back when I was healthy and single I opted to stay out of the DSLR scene because I was a technology snob. I did not care for the low megapixel values and refused to buy. Since I married and accepted a significantly lowed paying job than I am normally accustomed to, I have not been able to afford the types of things I normally would have purchased without batting an eye back when I was single.
Now, I can't do it...and it really sucks. On top of it, instead of people just taking great images, it seems that most people do all this fancy processing. Yes, I am aware of Photoshop. I used to have a copy, courtesy of unnamed sources but I am a purest. I am all about taking the best shots with minimal processing. If you need a filter, use the filter at the time you take the shot unless you decide to make a color shot a black and white or sepia at a later date. I also don't mind some of the color masking in black and white pics, but some of the other stuff is just foreign to me.
I guess I could take some classes over at NPC if I had time and a couple thousand to shell out on a nice DSLR, but I don't even have a couple hundred to spend a cheap on right now. Boy, do I hate being sick and unable to concentrate properly. To make matters worse, I need a new laptop. Thank goodness my cousin Alan said he'd help me get a good deal on a new one with better technology than this one.
Maybe the neuropsychologist will have some ideas on how to get me back to myself. Not being me is just killing me. Thinking slow, speaking slow, talking slurred, repeating myself, double typing words and phrases, misspelling words, mixing up homophones for the first time in my life, moodiness...all of this is just killing me. Just because I appear to test cognitively normal does not mean that everything is okay. Anyone who knew me before the fall knows I was not the same person before the fall that I am not. (Great example here...I just caught this today 10/30/2011...I think you know what I meant to say, I hope!)
I do my best not to dwell on it, but today has not been a good day.
Where was I, oh, yes, right now I am actually shooting pictures on my cell phone camera. I have a little pink cyber shot camera too, but both cameras are very low megapixel values. It is sad really. In my defense, I am starting to shoot again...and I do have a good eye still.
I shot this on the cyber shot with no post processing at all. I just happened to catch Asami in mom's top dresser drawer at just the right moment. Two seconds later she came up to me so she could give me kisses. My biggest problem with trying to shoot pictures of my animals is that as soon as they see me, they want to come give me kisses...every single one of them!! Go figure! They just love me...must be because I love them too.
Truthfully, I am lucky I still have a good eye since I had both of my corneas resurfaced. I should be counting my blessings that I can still get the shots. The fact that I still have a good eye really is a miracle.
Okay, so the rest of what gives for today...the pumpkin cookie recipe I tried out was too spicy for my taste. I should have stuck with Nancy's recipe for Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies and just left out the chocolate chips, I guess. Lesson learned. So, I have to chuck two batches of yucky cookies...and I made Fudge Stripe Shortbread Hershey Kiss Witch Hat Cookies instead. Yes, fancy name for a simple cookie. I wish I had taken a picture...because there are NO leftovers. Here is a picture from Pinterest.
Mine were cuter! Seriously! My orange was a little more neon and pinker. I liked mine a lot better!
Okay, so this was my day. I did recoup and the alternate cookies were awesome. Jennifer Rose and her hubby, Will, tried the Pumpkin cookies and they liked them just fine, but I guess *I* am too much of a perfectionist to allow sub-par food to exit my kitchen...regardless of whether anyone other than me knows that it really is sub-par or not. Oh yeah, did I ever mention that one of my assorted talents is that I am a super taster? Um, yeah, I guess I failed to list that among my qualifications. Sorry. The list is too long to remember. Hope you don't mind getting to know me as we go. I am a one of a kind experience. There is a reason the tagline is "ThatVickiGirl." Love me or hate me, most people usually have an opinion about me one way or another. Ironically, most people are not ambivalent...and most people do not wait long enough to make an informed decision before making it either. While I do find that sad, I accept that it is human nature. This being said, I should go to bed so this rotten day will finally be over. Perhaps I will feel better tomorrow.
I do not usually have days like today. This is so unusual for me. I guess it is my turn today.
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